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Gifts for all occasions in the Galleria! Subscribe to the "What is the Deal?" mailing list. September 21, 2003 What is the Deal with Boorish Behavior? By Jan A. Larson boor n. A person with rude, clumsy manners and little refinement. boorish adj. Resembling or characteristic of a boor; rude and clumsy in behavior. - dictionary.com I've seen several examples of boorish behavior lately and it makes me wonder what motivates people to act in this manner? A lot of boorish behavior seems to involve dogs or driving although it often appears where you'd least expect it. I don't think there is anything more boorish than letting one's dog drop a dooley on someone else's lawn, yet during my frequent walks around our neighborhood, I've seen it more times than I care to remember. I wonder what these people would say if someone dropped one in their living room? Occasionally, I'll go for a run on the track at a neighborhood middle school. On the gates leading to the track, there are clearly marked signs indicating "no pets." However, more than once, I've seen people with their dogs on the track. They must be assuming that those signs don't apply to "my precious pooch." Well, you moron, yes they do. They apply to your yapping little varmint and every other mangy mutt in this neighborhood. The highways are a popular arena for boorish behavior with hundreds of spectators watching a few competitors duke it out in a daily exhibition of "Survivor Lane Change," "Tailgate Challenge" and "Guess Where I'm Going Now." The "me first, this is my highway" attitude is on display every day. Maybe if you tried leaving just five minutes earlier for your job at Weenie World maybe then my bumper wouldn't be in your way. Nothing has contributed to boorish behavior in the last decade more than the ubiquitous cell phone. My wife and I spent a recent Saturday evening dining out at a recently opened restaurant not far from our home. There was a nicely dressed couple at a table near us and, from appearances, it seemed that this must have been some sort of special occasion for them. Between the appetizer and main course, however, the gentleman's cell phone went off. If that, in and of itself, wasn't boorish enough, he proceeded to carry on a 15-minute conversation while his wife stared glassy-eyed into the remnants of a plate of fried cheese. Yeah, that will be a dinner she'll remember forever. Hopefully he closed the deal on that truckload of shower curtain rings. Dogs aren't the only household pets that produce boorish behavior in their owner. Children can work just as well. Sure, you might not mind Junior running wild and screaming at the top of his lungs in your house, but I really don't appreciate it at the movies or the mall. Not only that, but Junior isn't as smart or as cute as you might think. Remember, half the "Juniors" in the world are below average. Yours just might be one of them. Cigarette smokers have a chapter in the book of boorishness all to themselves. Hollow-eyed chain smokers standing among piles of butts are regular fixtures outside of places of business across the country. "Blow it in their faces and throw the butts on the ground. That will show those self-righteous non-smokers." I won't even comment on what happens when you combine smoking, driving and cell phones. Perhaps the most boorish behavior I've seen in the past two years involves the American flag. Since September 11, 2001 there has been a noticeable resurgence in the display of Old Glory on cars and on lawns. Unfortunately, all too many of those displaying their patriotism don't have the foggiest notion of the proper way to display the flag. Faded flags, tattered flags, flags outside in the rain, flags on the ground. You call yourself patriotic? Please. Logic dictates that boorish behavior manifests itself most often for those that are, in general, losers in life. They lose at home, school and at work. They have to find a way to "win" at something and flouting society's conventions of acceptable behavior is one way to do that, or at least it must seem so. The next time you encounter a boor, just remember, he or she is probably a loser in many facets of life and ignoring the "no pets" sign or blowing smoke in your face is probably one of the few ways he or she can "win." Let them have their moment in the sun. After all, it will probably rain tomorrow and they'll still be late for work. -- Send feedback to the author. The "What is the Deal?" column will appears weekly on the Pie of Knowledge website. Guest submissions are welcome and encouraged. To submit an article to "What is the Deal?" click here. To subscribe to the "What is the Deal?" mailing list and receive early notification when a new column is available, click here. The Pie of Knowledge will never, ever divulge email addresses to any third party for any reason unless so ordered by a court of law. Contributions to the Pie of Knowledge are greatly appreciated. 
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