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Gifts for all occasions in the Galleria! The "What is the Deal?" Deal-of-the-Week: iTunes gift certificates June 12, 2005 What is the Deal with Paris Hilton? By Jan A. Larson I must admit that I had never heard of Paris Hilton until a couple of years ago when a sleazy tape surfaced featuring young Miss Hilton in compromising positions with a similarly sleazy ex-boyfriend (I have not seen that tape. Honest). Since then, however, she seems to be in the news more often than one would expect of someone with seemingly little talent. Miss Hilton recently made news by appearing in a television commercial for the Carl's Jr. hamburger chain. The commercial features a scantily attired Hilton making a half-hearted attempt at washing a car while eating a Carl's Jr. spicy BBQ burger. Now everyone knows that you don't eat lunch while washing your car. First of all, holding a sandwich leaves only one hand available to apply elbow grease to the car. Second, no one that I know has ever requested soap as a condiment. Third, the car Hilton was soaping up didn't need a wash. No one ever said Hilton was the brightest bulb in Vegas and CKE Restaurants (the parent company of the Carl's Jr. and Hardees burger chains) has taken advantage of that fact in seeking to appeal to the 18 to 34 year-old male demographic. I don't doubt that they will succeed. Hilton has appeared in a number of television productions, most often as "herself" and in a few movies, but few would mistake her for an actress. In fact, she might very well be the female version of Pauly Shore, a no-talent whose success, limited as it may be, in the entertainment industry has always amazed me. Of course Miss Hilton has more marketable "assets" than Shore. Ironically, she appeared with Shore in the forgettable Pauly Shore is Dead. (I didn't see that one either.) Paris Hilton is most noted for her television series, The Simple Life, in which she co-starred with Nicole Richie. During an appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman, Letterman asked her if she was being herself on The Simple Life or if it was all just an act. Hilton quickly responded that she was, indeed, acting. If Hilton were acting, she must be the greatest actress since Katharine Hepburn because she's never out of character. Maybe that's why she most often appears as "herself." She isn't a singer, as far as I know, and I've never heard that she has any other talents such as painting, sculpting or dealing blackjack. No, Hilton's function in life is simply to be a celebrity and to keep up with the never-ending demands of that role. The best way to be a celebrity is to show up fashionably late and make news every now and then. Hilton is very good at this. With few demands of a celebrity other than to look good and smile for the cameras, it seems that Hilton's future is assured. With the amazing things they can do with plastic surgery these days, one can only imagine how good she might look 30, 40 or 50 years from now. The latest news is that Hilton is engaged to a man by the name of Paris Latsis. Paris Hilton marrying Paris Latsis? What are the odds? I suppose Miss Hilton should be thankful that she wasn't named after another European hotel in the Hilton chain - the Hilton Amsterdam. -- Send feedback to the author. The "What is the Deal?" column will appears weekly on the Pie of Knowledge website. Guest submissions are welcome and encouraged. To submit an article to "What is the Deal?" click here. To subscribe to the "What is the Deal?" mailing list and receive early notification when a new column is available, click here. The Pie of Knowledge will never, ever divulge email addresses to any third party for any reason unless so ordered by a court of law. Contributions to the Pie of Knowledge are greatly appreciated. 
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